Checking in on Amy

Yesterday I had made plans to do a couple of fun things. I went shopping in the morning with some gift cards that had been burning a hole in my pocket since June - goodbye gifts from my Eastview Science family. I'm not much of a shopper, but it was nice to get out and buy myself a couple of nice, comfy things. A student I hadn't seen in years was working in one of the stores I visited, and it was really great to see her and speak with her. After my little shopping excursion I had the great pleasure of visiting my hair stylist/magician/whisperer Kendra. She very generously made space for me when I let her know what was going on with my health. Most of you know that my hair has been quite long for a while AND that I have had very, very short hair a few times in the past. Having had short hair before made it really easy to decide to chop it all off this week. I know that if hair loss is one of the side effects of my chemo (I don't know this for sure yet but I know it is very l...

This morning I met with my surgeon. How are all of these humans so amazing? It is hard to put into words how wonderful everyone is.  My surgeon let me know more about the pathology of my cancer and outlined a plan for a few more tests in the next couple of weeks. The pathology tells us that the cancer I have is aggressive, and also that there are good treatments available to fight it. Additional diagnostic tests will include an MRI of my breast to learn more about the lump as well as an echocardiogram which is done to assess my heart health before starting cancer treatment.  The plan for treatment is to start with chemotherapy and to re-assess the need for (and type of) surgery after we see how successful the chemo has been. My surgeon did a wonderful job describing in general terms what type of information is considered when making decisions about surgery. She and I also discussed how genetic markers can play some role in these decisions. I had already been leaning towards ha...

Last week I received little gestures of caring from so many people. So far I have been able (and eager) to respond to everyone's messages. A wise friend reminded me that I may reach a point when I don't have much energy to write replies, and that I shouldn't think twice about NOT replying when that time comes. Know that I will always receive your messages with gratitude even if I don't reply. Other things that have arrived on my doorstep this week: a warm beverage; surprise lunch; a plant; food for the freezer. All of the deliveries made me smile but only one made me laugh out loud . That one was a GIANT delivery of cookies and butter tarts and cupcakes and edible cookie dough that I was sure was a mistake (since it was enough for a really big party) but was not a mistake. We shared some of these treats and ate some of them and stashed the rest in the freezer. Treats for weeks! Thanks, brother. ;) Among the kind messages I have received was an email from one of ...

  So, it's official...I've got cancer. I wasn't surprised to hear those words. Sometimes you just have a feeling. We are still waiting for some results from pathology that will provide us with more details about the type of cancer. This information will be important for deciding on the sequence of treatment. The initial report shows that I have cancer in my breast and also in the axillary lymph node they biopsied. Based on our conversation with the doctor today, we are fairly certain that both chemotherapy and surgery will be required. On Monday I have an appointment with a surgeon and hopefully by then we will have most/all of the information we need to figure out what happens next. A good piece of news is that my bone scan was clear! I was very happy to hear this, because when you think you might have cancer you have the tendency to over-analyze little aches and pains. I'm glad my hips only ache because of 'old age.' ;) I am in very good hands. We are so thank...

I'm feeling really good today. More relaxed than I have been for a few days. It is a good feeling. :)  There is only very mild soreness at the biopsy sites which is great. My skin is stained pink from some weird antiseptic soap so I look like I've been through something much more serious. I will be at home this week. This feels right and wrong all at once. There will be much more to share about work-life balance in the days to come. For now I will say I am grateful that circumstances allow me to step back. This week I am looking forward to dog walks, spring cleaning, and setting up additional supports I may need in the weeks to come. This means that today I get to make some lists. I am the type of human who loves to make lists, so this is a good thing. Sending my love and gratitude to all of you. 

Yesterday I made some phone calls to follow up on my upcoming appointment schedule. A CT scan and biopsy had been scheduled. The CT scan will be March 28th. The date for the biopsy was set for early April which was much later than I had expected, so I had myself added to the cancellation list. I was pretty devastated at the idea of waiting that long to have a concrete diagnosis, and reached out to my contact at RVH to make sure there was nothing else I could do to speed up the process. This morning, because of the amazing advocacy of a doctor, I was invited to come in for my biopsy TODAY. I cannot tell you what an incredible relief it was to hear that news. I got home from my biopsy an hour or so ago. The doctor took a sample from the lump as well as from a lymph node in my armpit. Titanium is a new element to add to my collection as they left a small piece inside the lump - 'x' marks the spot.  I will find out the results of the biopsy next Friday. In the meantime I will be wo...

It sucks. I know it's March break and people are probably on vacation.  It still sucks.

I am probably still a little radioactive after my bone scan yesterday. It's neat to know that I have a little technetium inside me. It's completely synthetic (one of the most unnatural things in the world) but can help us spot whether some bad (but much more natural?!?) things are going on inside my bones. It was really interesting to see my skeleton during the scan. I saw the positioning scan image (not the diagnostic 3D image...yet) and it looked like a pretty typical skeleton to me.  Lying still for 30 minutes during the scan was sort of nice. The first time in many days that I've been completely still without any company or distractions but my own thoughts. Probably much needed. Mood today is calm but also a little anxious. Read a little. Walked the dog. Cleaned up my marking and grades since it is likely I won't return to school after March Break. The house has been very quiet as the girls are with my family in Niagara until tomorrow. I really want to know more abo...