Checking in on Amy

It has been three days since my surgery and I'm feeling pretty good! I wanted to write an update while the experience was more fresh in my mind, but I've been too busy relaxing. :) My surgery was scheduled for 12:15 Wednesday. I checked in around 10:15 and was changed into my fancy hospital garb by 10:30. At this point I learned from the other patients that things were running behind by about an hour. It's a good thing I'm really good at waiting! I passed most of the time from 10:30 until after 1:00 reading, knitting, doing crosswords, and watching TV coverage of the queue to see the Queen lying in state in London. At some point around 12:00 I was called in for a pre-surgery interview and to have my IV started. They were able to use my PICC for the IV which made me happy - it's good to be able to put it to use while it's here. Before and after that point I made the occasional trip to the washroom to stretch my legs...most of the chairs in the waiting area were p...

What a week! Chemo #5 went as expected yesterday. I'm feeling weird and steroid-filled today. I had some serious night sweats last which is gross because chemo is also seeping out of my pours. I have had this previously and don't think I've mentioned this here. I have experienced a few hot flashes since starting chemo too, and can't really know if it's the chemo or hormone changes causing them. It has been about 10 weeks since I last had a period, which is sort of a blessing since I don't have to worry about managing cramps or anything, but it sure has me wondering what's ahead of me when it comes to hormones and managing menopause. My chemo nurse yesterday was the same nurse who looked after me for my first treatment. She had already learned about my exciting chemo port dehiscence . I guess word gets around when freaky things happen. There are so many different situations I see while I'm in the chemo suite. Two different people came in to be hooked up t...

I think this is the longest I've gone without writing a post. This week has flown by. I did lots of walking in the beautiful spring weather and have averaged about 10 km each day. Monday was the first day that I wasn't totally exhausted after a walk, and I am determined to walk as much as I can while I'm feeling well. The numbness in my hands and feet seeems to have improved a bit (or else just seems better since I feel better?) and my taste buds have definitely recovered a little bit, though they are still not at their full tasting potential. On Tuesday I attended an online 'Look Good Feel Better' workshop about skincare during cancer treatment. It was fun, despite being online, and I feel more prepared to deal with losing my eyebrows if that ever happens. :) It was nice to see a bunch of bald heads in the Zoom call and the people who ran the workshop were kind and knowledgeable. My skin has been VERY dry, and I am very sensitive to the sun these days so I have to ...

This second round of chemo has been similar to the first. I was feeling pretty good the first couple of days (if you can consider a steroid high 'good!') and like last time that is being followed by a couple of really slow and tired days. This round I have found that the feeling of exhaustion and brain fog bothering me more than the first time. The first round of chemo I wasn't sure what to expect, so to have my symptoms limited to fatigue and a nagging headache seemed like a gift (which it really is) and that 'pleasant' surprise may have distracted me from the details. Or perhaps things are a little worse this time. Hard to say. I've been trying to explain how I feel. How my brain feels. It is weird. But I will try. This feels sort of like jet lag. The kind where you are exhausted AND you still have a 10 hour day in front of you and you need to gather your wits so you don't get on the wrong train and it takes all of your concentration. The kind where you ge...

This week will be chemo treatment #2. I'm not overly worried about it since I know how last round went and I can anticipate how things may go. Some symptoms are cumulative, so I can't really predict how well I will feel, but as long as it isn't drastically different from last time I know I will manage. The hardest things about my illness so far haven't had to do with treatment.  Admitting to myself that something was wrong with me was hard. Saying the words out loud to Rick, the girls, and to our family doctor was hard. Telling our friends and loved ones that I am sick was hard. Admitting that I needed to take a leave from work was hard. Waiting for my first couple of appointments to be scheduled was hard. The hardest things involved facing the reality of a serious illness, confronting my mortality (because that is unavoidable), and witnessing/absorbing the worry and pain of my loved ones. These are BIG things. These are the things that shifted my reality and in some wa...

Nobody can tell you exactly when your hair is going to fall out during chemotherapy. It is a little different from person to person and depends on the 'cocktail' of drugs you are taking. In my case they made it very clear that my hair WOULD fall out, so I've been watching and waiting to see when my time would come. Well, today I got my answer! When I think about being bald, I imagine it will be like announcing to every human I meet that I am a cancer patient. Having hair means having anonymity, but now my appearance will share my medical status with strangers wherever I go. Maybe I'll keep my brows and lashes for a while and the hats will help with camouflage. ;) I don't like the thought of strangers looking at me with sad eyes. I will keep you posted with my thoughts as things progress. Look at this lovely pile of hair! The white ones are coarser so they are totally stealing the spotlight. :) Martha and I on our walk this morning. She was not cooperatin...

Yesterday I had made plans to do a couple of fun things. I went shopping in the morning with some gift cards that had been burning a hole in my pocket since June - goodbye gifts from my Eastview Science family. I'm not much of a shopper, but it was nice to get out and buy myself a couple of nice, comfy things. A student I hadn't seen in years was working in one of the stores I visited, and it was really great to see her and speak with her. After my little shopping excursion I had the great pleasure of visiting my hair stylist/magician/whisperer Kendra. She very generously made space for me when I let her know what was going on with my health. Most of you know that my hair has been quite long for a while AND that I have had very, very short hair a few times in the past. Having had short hair before made it really easy to decide to chop it all off this week. I know that if hair loss is one of the side effects of my chemo (I don't know this for sure yet but I know it is very l...