Post Chemo Thoughts

I'm 9 days out from my last chemo treatment and I'm feeling more like myself every day. :)

Although I have probably lost sight of what 'normal' flavours are I'd say my tastebuds are at about 75% today, which is something to celebrate. My mouth has been sore the last couple of days; it was sore last round too and I'm not sure if I mentioned it then. I have avoided getting any actual true mouth sores but there is a tenderness to my gums and parts of my mouth that makes me think I narrowly avoided them. 

Our morning walks yesterday and today were the first that have felt good from start to finish, so my fatigue is fading and that is nice. I'm still pretty tired after walks but it is nice to feel the small improvements. My adventures with the open wound meant way less activity than usual for the last few weeks and it feels good to get moving a little more.

My brain is also feeling a bit more normal the last couple of days. Brain fog is hard to measure. Sometimes it means I can't recall a word or a detail (over and above usual forgetfulness!) and sometimes it means I can't focus on something (like reading). For instance, I have had trouble holding information from a recipe in my mind while cooking and have to check the amounts and ingredients over and over again. 'Normal' me can easily knit and listen to an audiobook at the same time. On bad brain fog days this isn't always possible and I need to do one thing at a time. One way I get an idea of how my brain is doing is by noticing the ease with which I complete my morning Wordle or my Duolingo Polish lessons. I had lots of trouble doing this puzzle early this week and kept giving up. Today I was able to finish it with a normal amount of effort in a reasonable amount of time.

Today I spent an hour or so sorting, organizing, and recycling lots of chemo-related stuff that accumulated over the last few weeks. It is wonderful to NOT need these things anymore. Box on the kitchen counter with meds in it? Gone. Small containers with snacks (ginger candy, trail mix, etc) that I would bring to and from appointments? Gone. Bag that I carried to and from treatment with lots of chemo-related items in the pockets? Emptied. Hat collection? Sorted. Wound-care-related paraphernalia? Organized. Freeing up this space felt really good and helped bring some closure to this chapter. I know my blood cells won't be recovered from chemo for a couple of weeks yet, but it's nice if my physical space can reflect my thinking and start moving forward.

I had my post-chemo breast MRI on Tuesday afternoon, and in the next few days my care team will meet to determine next steps for my treatment. In the meantime I plan to enjoy the sensations of recovering from chemo and make the most of the last couple of summer weeks. The girls spent a few days with Rick's parents this past week and we have some more visits and fun planned for the days to come.


The girls and Rick playing pickleball with Rick's dad



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