Coming Back to EduKnitNight

I'm someone who has always been quite happy to be a bit of a hermit. I love a weekend with no plans. I look forward to quiet days when I can spend time reading, walking, and working on craft projects. I sometimes need to give myself a little push to say 'yes' to an invitation to get out and do something. This winter a good neighbourhood friend encouraged a bunch of us to sign up for a 'learn to curl' class and it has been great fun, but I never would have initiated such a thing on my own.

I wrote in the last post about my long absence from the online workout community I've belonged to for a while. I am also lucky to belong to an equally fabulous online knitting community created by another wonderful human named Lisa. (Yes, in my life only people named 'Lisa' invite me to online communities. Lol.) The knitting community was created during COVID as a form of social connection for a group of educators who were also knitters and crocheters. Everyone was feeling pretty isolated at the time, and teaching online was a lonely, disheartening experience for most of us. Our #EduKnitNight crew come from all corners of Ontario, but also BC, NYC...and I'm sure I'm missing more. Every Tuesday evening we meet online to talk with yarn in hand. Sometimes we help each other out with knitting or crocheting questions. Sometimes we share ideas to overhaul education systems. Always there is laughter and wit and honesty. I am very grateful to have had this connection, particularly as we all tried to figure out how to contort our minds and bodies to work in education during a pandemic and its 'aftermath.' I'm sure that our shared struggles are what helped the group stick; Tuesday nights were an oasis in the chaos of the week.

Over the last year or so I have been completely absent from these Tuesday evenings, but have remained connected to the 'EduKnitNight' group through our chat. Fiona, who I have mentioned previously, is one of the wonderful knitter-educators I met through the group. Her experience with cancer brought us closer and it has been wonderful to meet her for walks and tea in the last few months. In the first week of January Terry and Beth joined Fiona and I for tea and we visited a couple of local yarn shops. There have been other in-person gatherings and I'm sure there are more in our future. I had the great pleasure of sharing a hug with Lisa a few weeks ago as we traded bags of yarn-stuff when I was visiting Peterborough. 

I have been wondering and reflecting about my lack of desire (ability?) to join our online knitting space. Someone in my fitness group recently said "I was unable to process anything beyond what I can handle." and I feel that these words capture the feeling I've had about such things. During the last many months it has been all I can do to communicate with (and spent time with) my own family. There were many times I didn't have enough energy to talk to my mom or sister on the phone. The noise of the world was a bit too much for me, even if it was the noise of people I care about.

During cancer treatment there is also a feeling of not belonging. I mentioned this a little in my previous post. I knew I would not be able to show up and really listen to others. I knew I would feel sadness and jealousy when people talked about their school days. I didn't want to be in that space but I still wanted the connection, so the chat has allowed me to share little bits of myself and listen to others when I was in the space to do so. Sharing here on the blog felt good because people could take it or leave it, and I wouldn't be forcing my cancer facts on anyone who didn't want to know.

I'll be making my way back to EduKnitNight soon. Much like with the fitness group I know my long absence won't make a difference to the way I feel in that space, though I'm sure there is lots to catch up on (and over a year's worth of inside jokes!). I know that among the knitters I will find support and shared experience when it comes to things like managing menopause symptoms and navigating a return to work after a long absence. I know that I now have energy to give back to them and that I'll be able to be a good listener. I'm grateful for these wonderful humans. This post is a big 'thank you' to them, and of course to Lisa for bringing us together in the first place.

Martha in the snow on the lake this morning