Checking in on Amy

Suddenly, it is spring! The ice on Kempenfelt Bay will likely disappear today or tomorrow and it is T-shirt weather this week. We will return to more seasonal temperatures next week, but it's great to see everyone out in the sunshine enjoying this stretch of 20 ° C-ish weather while it lasts. After writing my last post about impatience, I spent a lovely couple of hours in the chemo suite the day after my missed appointment. I say 'lovely' because all of the angst I was holding on to about the missed oncologist appointment melted away. I got my Zoladex injection and had my immunotherapy treatment and felt very well cared for. I can't say enough about how fantastic my care has been, and this was a good reminder that the long waits I've experienced lately are just blips. This afternoon I will see my surgeon for my 6 month follow-up. I will speak with her about upcoming scans and monitoring, and find out when I can have surgery to match my left breast to my right. I hav...

I've never gone a whole month between blog posts AND I missed my cancer blog anniversary! Whoops! March 15th last year was my very first post. March 25th was diagnosis day. And here we are. Two weeks ago I was supposed to have my immunotherapy treatment but it was delayed as my platelets were too low. That Wednesday I went to the hospital 2 hours before my appointment for bloodwork, and opted to sit in a sunny chair by the window and knit until my oncology appointment. What I could not have known is that doctor was running late, and in the end I spent FOUR hours knitting in that window. I was content (though starving!) but after I got in to see the doctor (and have my treatment delayed by a week) I was able to zoom home and eat lunch quickly before my lymphedema massage appointment. Last week, I failed my bloodwork again so my treatment was delayed by another week. I didn't see the doctor in person. My treatment was pushed to this week. Yesterday I had another round of bloodwor...

I don't have a particular date that I can call my 'cancerversary.' I know that about a year ago I was pretty sure I had cancer and had started taking steps to find out. March 10th was the day I was assessed by a caring and compassionate oncologist who, though she could not definitively confirm that I had cancer, told me that it was very likely. It was not until around March 25 that I finally heard the words, but hearing the words really just confirmed what I already knew. So now, with the 'big three' cancer treatments done (chemo, surgery, radiation) and some preventative immunotherapy and hormone therapy underway I am trying to figure out how to define myself. I am no longer calling myself a 'cancer patient' although I still hang out in the chemo suite from time to time. Maintaining this connection to the Cancer Centre makes it difficult to NOT feel like a cancer patient and also offers an ongoing connection to my caregivers so that I don't feel abandon...

Since people who read this blog include those who love me BUT may not want to read about things I might write about sex and vaginas, consider this your fair warning. No judgement. I can totally dig not wanting to hear about these things from your sister, for example. ;) I have been taking my 'menopause meds' for about 2 months now. As I was already in a chemo-induced menopause (ovaries have been asleep since the spring) I wasn't really sure what kind of symptoms or changes I might expect. When discussing this medication my oncologist (who is wonderful) gave a very quick rundown of major symptoms (hot flashes, fatigue, sleep troubles, joint pain...) and I replied 'Yeah, menopause symptoms' and he said 'yup.' And that was that.  My perception of menopause has been that it is a time where hormones change, periods stop, hot flashes and sleep problems happen, and people have mood swings. Hot flashes and mood swings related to this 'change of life' are jok...

Most of you know that I am a teacher. There were many times in the last year when I wished I had a different job so that I could have done some work part-time. I felt pretty good every 3rd week through chemo last spring and for about six weeks this autumn between surgery and radiation. Unfortunately teaching is an all-or-nothing kind of job. A job where I am either ready and able to supervise, educate, and care for 30+ humans or not. The logistics of medical leave and the need for consistency for students means there is no way for me to arrange to pop in on weeks I'm feeling fine. Unfortunately, being on medical leave also means that I am not permitted on school property even when I'm feeling good. No visits with colleagues, no special events, no chance to go in and organize cupboards on the days I'm feeling good. Since I left work last March I have done quite a bit of reflection about this career of mine. I love teaching. I miss it. At the same time I find it hard to imagi...

I'm someone who has always been quite happy to be a bit of a hermit. I love a weekend with no plans. I look forward to quiet days when I can spend time reading, walking, and working on craft projects. I sometimes need to give myself a little push to say 'yes' to an invitation to get out and do something. This winter a good neighbourhood friend encouraged a bunch of us to sign up for a 'learn to curl' class and it has been great fun, but I never would have initiated such a thing on my own. I wrote in the last post about my long absence from the online workout community I've belonged to for a while. I am also lucky to belong to an equally fabulous online knitting community created by another wonderful human named Lisa. (Yes, in my life only people named 'Lisa' invite me to online communities. Lol.) The knitting community was created during COVID as a form of social connection for a group of educators who were also knitters and crocheters. Everyone was feel...

The year I turned 40 my friend (and fellow '77 baby) Lisa invited me to start running with her. That winter we crushed a 10k running clinic held on several of the coldest, darkest nights of the year. Having never run more than 5k before, this was a big challenge for me but I loved it. I loved running in the cold. I loved seeing the improvement over time. It was amazing! The following October Rick and I ran a half marathon, something I had never imagined doing. I have continued running on and off in the years since then, loving the feeling of being able to get out and run 5k without much training when the Santa Shuffle came around. The next year Lisa started an online community that was part fitness accountability, part sisterhood, part support group, and exactly what I needed. For the first time in a long time I started making time for myself to move my body every day. I got stronger and healthier. Being part of the community helped me stay connected in a way that made it easy to g...

  I've been feeling the pull to get back to writing here, so today's the day. Looking back at my last post and its title ("And...done!") made me laugh a little. I have known since my diagnosis that the end of treatment (not that I'm there yet) isn't an end to the changes cancer brings. You can find lots of information about the challenges cancer patients face when treatment is finished; feeling cut off from the medical team that has been caring for you for months is a difficult adjustment for most people. In my case, I'm not really done yet, as my immunotherapy treatments will continue every three weeks. I have nine more treatments, so that means I'll continue seeing my cancer care team until at least July. This continued connection means I have time to ease more slowly into the challenges of recovery and 'survivorship,' and for that I suppose I am grateful. In the middle of December I started a new drug regimen to suppress my estrogen producti...

Yesterday was my last day of radiation! I'm happy to be finished. Daily appointments are a slog and my skin is starting to get a bit crispy. Part of my x-ray burn. Rick took the day off yesterday and we went for a lovely snowy hike with Martha before my appointment. I was pretty emotional during and after my last zap, and unexpectedly shed a few tears. Here I am sounding the gong to celebrate: Last night we went out for supper with the girls to mark this occasion - excuse the blurry pic!  Today was the first day in four weeks that I didn't have an appointment to go to. I had a beautiful (COLD!) morning walk and welcomed the sunlight peeking through the mist over the lake. The sun will be all the radiation I need from now on. :) I did some holiday shopping this morning and plan to relax in front of the soccer game this afternoon. I am tired and itchy but truly happy to check off the last 'big thing' in my treatment. I have my immunotherapy infusion this week, so I have a...

I just woke up from a 3+ hour 'nap.' I was sleepy after dinner and headed straight for my bed, and didn't get up until after 10PM. It was a really good sleep and I guess my body needed it. The side effects of radiation haven't been too bad for me yet. I have completed my 16 treatments and one of my 'boost' treatments, so I've only got three more boost treatments to go. I met with my radiation oncologist on Tuesday and he was very generous with his time. One thing I learned from him is that the protocol for radiation treatment has changed since my treatment started, and 'boost' treatments will no longer be separate but they will instead become part of the initial course of radiation. Had this change happened before my treatment started I would have saved myself four trips to the hospital. I'm glad that the people who come after me can benefit from this change. My doctor explained that, in general, the number of visits required to treat just about ...

I had my 6th radiation treatment today. Treatments have been going well. The appointments are quick, so I find I'm only out of the house for about an hour each time (~15 minutes driving; ~10 minutes parking and walking to/from the appointment; ~25 minutes to change, wait, get zapped, and change again).  Before each zap (which is, in case you were wondering, x-rays!) I lie down on the bed that has been specially prepared for me with the neck rest, knee support, angle, and hand/arm grips all in the places that were determined at my CT appointment. The technicians check my position using my tattoos and some lights that shine from the machine. They make sure everything is just right, then leave the room. After that, they take a couple of quick x-rays to make sure my position is perfect. They use the x-rays to adjust my position a tiny bit more, so I usually feel the bed move around just a bit before the radiation treatment happens.  My understanding is that I get x-rays from four ...

I have had a great couple of weeks. Lots of energy, many great hikes and walks, and time to focus on healing and resting before radiation starts. Things continue to go well with my physical therapy. My scars are looking better, little by little. My mobility is awesome - I can finally do a snow angel! - and when I keep up with my lymphedema massage regimen I don't have any noticeable swelling. This week was a busy one. I was at the hospital 4 out of 5 days this week. On Monday I had my latest (3rd) heart echo which went smoothly. I haven't seen results for that yet, but we don't expect any changes. On Tuesday I met with my radiation oncologist to find out the plan for radiation treatment. I will be having 20 radiation treatments. 16 will be to my breast and remaining regional lymph nodes. The final 4 are 'boost' treatments that will focus only on the breast. We spoke about side effects from the most obvious to the most obscure. I didn't learn anything completely ...

The leaves have been putting on a stunning show this year. My morning walks have been full of little delights around every corner. I have been enjoying watching the leaves change over time and some of the sunrises have been fantastic. I'm thankful that these beautiful fall days have coincided with this little break in my treatment. My body and brain are feeling more my own these days and it feels good to be able to get out and move. I started physiotherapy for my lymphedema last week. My physiotherapist specializes in this treatment and it was great to meet with her. Having had about 40 lymph nodes removed from my right armpit, my body can't move fluid around like it used to. My arm isn't particularly swollen but my breast is still quite swollen after surgery, and this is a direct result of not having normal drainage available. Lymphatic massage is used to manually move fluid to where it needs to be. In my case, that means redirecting fluid towards my left armpit, up into m...